Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Friday, April 10, 2009

Hell Hath No Fury: Part 2

Fuckers. This shit's really goin' down and I've got the evite to prove it!!! I actually didn't want to open it up 'cause that would make it more real.

The stagette that I thought would be "forgotten" has reared its ugly head. It's like one of those damn fake-DVD stalls, once you close 1 up, 2 pop up in its place! 4 realz.

[scanning evite]
- cocktails & appetizers @ bride-to-be's house = fine
- put on your sexiest little black party dress = np! How fitting.
- approx. cost for the limo $30 = also fine as I've actually never been in 1!
- shit on a stick. No like-minded friends are attending, alas I'll have no one to shit on this event with!!! ACK.

[scanning follow-up email]
- BOTTLE SERVICE??!! WTF. Approx. cost $50/person which includes cover which is $15-20 and 3-4 drinks?

My math skillz aren't the greatest, but 1) what clubs charge this cover? CiRCA's like $15, but that includes some live band/DJ, 2) okay, let's say that cover's $15 and drinks at this high-priced establishment are like $10.

We're already having cocktails @ bride's place, so I would only have 1 other drink. $15+$10 (if I'm feeling ultra-generous) = $25, doesn't it? In what world does that add up to $50??!! Does it automatically double once we get line by-pass and get to sit in some velvet roped-off VIP area? That's absolutely retarded. Stephania neither stands in line nor does she need her ego stroked!

- okay, at least the organiser's fair enough to give attendees options. We don't hafta take the limo or be forced to sit with other douches in VIP 'cause you know that shit's boring! I'm def opting out of the bottle service thingy.

Girl, you know that I'd lick your vag if you asked me too, but honestly, I expected less from you. Of course I'd like to help you usher in your last days as a single gal, but we're not in our mid-20s anymore. Can't we just have Costco poppers, I'll give you $50 towards (several) bottles of wine/BYOB potluck, and we all eat, drink, & be merry @ your folks' pad??

Is this debaucherous charade 100% necessary??

...Like Stephania Invited To A Stagette!


posted by Stephania at 8:35 pm
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