Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Friday, January 13, 2012

Letters To Extras

Dear 6'2" Snowboarder-type who uses my trailer as the changeroom,


* * *

Dear Over-acting Extras,

Your job is to be INVISIBLE, not stick out like a sore thumb with your exaggerated facial expressions!!!

I wish I never would've noticed you guys and subsequently pointed you out to a friend of mine. Now we both have goofy looks on our faces 'cause of you. I guess it's okay 'cause we're all gonna be one big blur anyway.

Btw, it is pathetic to mention to a legit actor, a.k.a. someone who's a union member, whether or not they saw your split-second dance sequence in another film that you probably mentioned...yesterday. Insisting that you'll download it, put it on a USB for him is OTT!

This is not what I would call shameless self-promotion, but utter desperation.

* * *

Dear Fellow Chinese Peeps,

Not only have you proven yourself efficient when getting food, but you have also managed to reassert the stereotypes of being loud, rude, having little consideration, and the "take what I can get" attitude!

Just because there are leftover meatballs, it doesn't mean that you should go for a second serving, even though you're probably already full, AND spoon up a plate full. It is fuckin' embarrassing.

Please don't let one rip as though you were going head-to-head with Booger, in a burping contest, at a Frat House. Are you a teenager or slightly worse, an animal for God's sake?

And why can't you shut the trailer door behind you?? Don't you realise that it's the middle of Winter? Please have some consideration for those of us who are seated next to the door!

Since White people, e.g. other extras/the crew members who work on-set, can't really tell the difference between Chinese/Japanese/Korean, you are making us all look bad!

P.S. I'm bringing in a pair of earplugs the next time 'cause you people can't play quietly!

* * *

Dear A.D./Director/ACTRA,

It is not safe to ask us to run as if our "asses were on fire" when there are a bunch of other extras doing random crosses. In addition, we are all wearing uncomfortable army boots (that probably don't fit!), there are slow moving vehicles on-set, cables on the floor from the boom and other electrical equipment, plus the floor is wet.

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that running + electricity + water don't mix!


posted by Stephania at 11:01 am
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