Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Why do all the rich people get to do cool things like talk to inanimate objects?
When will Siri's purpose be perverted by man and forced to do evil?
If I had an extra $649 (plus HST) kickin' 'round, I would put Siri to do only good! Here are some things that I'd ask her to do:
- pay my bills from Siri's account, i.e. what Apple is making on this super phone
- each and every time an ex contacts me, Siri will remind me exactly WHY we broke up
- I'm already pretty good at this, but Siri can administer a lie-detector test...YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!
- a built-in police scanner so that I can dodge the pigs!
- a countdown eBay alarm. I'm really horrible at math, so it's difficult for me to estimate what time it would be in 21h 22m
- voice-command operated tip calculator. Again, my math skillz are weak, yo, so even by punching in numbers into a cell phone tip calculator, I always manage to tip wrong. It would be a bonus if Siri can take "bad/good service" into consideration when calculating the tip!
- a wifi hotspot finder to find the closest, FREE spot
That's all that comes to mind for now, but these are all things that would contribute to making me a better person, right?
posted by Stephania at 12:33 am
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