Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Saturday, October 15, 2011

Introducing iPhone 4s' "Personal Assistant":Siri!

Why do all the rich people get to do cool things like talk to inanimate objects?

When will Siri's purpose be perverted by man and forced to do evil?

If I had an extra $649 (plus HST) kickin' 'round, I would put Siri to do only good! Here are some things that I'd ask her to do:
- pay my bills from Siri's account, i.e. what Apple is making on this super phone
- each and every time an ex contacts me, Siri will remind me exactly WHY we broke up
- I'm already pretty good at this, but Siri can administer a lie-detector test...YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!
- a built-in police scanner so that I can dodge the pigs!
- a countdown eBay alarm. I'm really horrible at math, so it's difficult for me to estimate what time it would be in 21h 22m
- voice-command operated tip calculator. Again, my math skillz are weak, yo, so even by punching in numbers into a cell phone tip calculator, I always manage to tip wrong. It would be a bonus if Siri can take "bad/good service" into consideration when calculating the tip!
- a wifi hotspot finder to find the closest, FREE spot

That's all that comes to mind for now, but these are all things that would contribute to making me a better person, right?


posted by Stephania at 12:33 am
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