Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Shit List

Yesterday, I thought I was depressed, but today is a new day!

I don't get down too often or for too long, but when I do, I'm sure it isn't far off from what people suffering from actual depression experience.

I pride myself in being fairly self-aware, so here is a pattern of "stuff" I go through during my rut:

- a strong desire to travel, not to discover but more of a part of The Escapist Fantasy;

- feelings of restlessness, anxiousness, with some obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Not as scary as it sounds, but it's similar to my PMS symptoms;

- insomnia;

- a need to buy "new" things. Subconsciously, I think these things will help me feel better, e.g. clothes, make-up, face wash, coffee beans, etc. Luckily for my wallet, I'm usually much too practical to buy stuff that I don't need, so that's good;

- isolate/homebody/hibernate, but I definitely feel better when I get out tho';

- as part of the restlessness, I feel as though I need a haircut;

- less attention to what I eat. It never fully gets out of hand, but I do hafta make an extra effort to eat more balanced meals,

- a strange desire to have a baby, i.e. "My life is over anyway, why not add a baby into the mix?", and;

- an overall feeling of apathy/blech/malaise.

Currently, I'm having a bit of problem thinking of more symptoms because I'm no longer feeling this way. At least I can rule out depression.


posted by Stephania at 2:54 pm
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