Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Sunday, November 22, 2009
This is a total delayed reaction, but "H.A.T.E.U." is probably the best track on Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel, but please take into consideration the method in which I critique an album:
1. Download. Never initially buy 'cause I hate those albums which feature a coupla good songs and the rest are fillers!;
2. Upload onto iTunes/iPod. iTunes if there's gonna be a chunk of time wherein I'll be in front of my Mac. iPod if I'm gonna be on the road/vacay where I can listen to the album from beginning to end, and;
3. The first coupla times of listening, I listen to approx. the first 30 seconds of each song. The more skipping I do, the worse I deem an album.
With Memoirs, I listened to less than 30 secs, skipping every song with the exception of the above.
Another indication that an album isn't gonna be particularly successful is the number of singable, finger/toe tappable tracks. For Memoirs, it was like 3/21 with 1 being a fairly decent cover of Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is". Okay, it's rather cheesy, but hel-lo...it's Mariah.
Hearing that Mariah was going back to her roots of actual singing on this one, I was highly anticipating this release. "Obsessed" was awh-ight in that I thought the lyrics were hilarious, but it needed to be seriously remixed! The version that I downloaded of Memoirs featured 21-tracks, including 4 shitty, shitty remixes by DJs I have never heard of. In addition, there are a craploada reprises, preludes, interludes, a.k.a. FILLERS!!!
(It was no surprise to Ms. Hello Kitty's peeps that Memoirs wasn't gonna by up to snuff as its release was delayed quite a few times, but who's fault is it when an album fails? Quick answer: Producer.)
If this doesn't sound bad enough, there's barely any singing. It's like velvet-voiced, beat poetry to an r&b beat. However, I will say that it's not as bad as JLo's new dribble, "Fresh Out Of The Over"/"Louboutins" or whatever. I can't believe some of these people are still making music/movies/whatnot. Just shuddap and pose pretty for the picture already!
My theory is that (a simulation of) love isn't good for anyone's career, eg. there's a track called "Candy Bling". Really? If you ask me, pain and isolation's waaay more productive for creative pursuits. I dig my personal time...alone to my own thoughts.
Who knows, maybe I'm not giving this a fair shake. Maybe with a few more complete listens, it'll "grow on me". I highly doubt this'll happen as I really don't believe in that whole second chances to make a first impression thing.
I'll try though, I'll try.
P.S. Precious is coming out this Friday! I can almost guarantee that that'll be better than her recent musical pursuits/choice in outfits.
posted by Stephania at 7:52 pm
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