Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Sunday, November 29, 2009

Balls Of A Tiger

If the reports are true, then girrrlfriend is my hero! Yes, I'm using Dlisted as a source.

There must be something to this whole cheatin' business 'cause it seems like EVERYONE is doing it. And if you're Tiger Woods or anyone else who's in the spotlight, I'm sure it's even more difficult to shield off non-wife pussy!

The only acceptable reasons for stepping out on your spouse is if she's completely let herself go, i.e. post-baby weight, &/or she's turned into some huge bitch or something. Even in extremes of the cases listed above, there's always divorce, but I guess that would take all the fun out of cheating now wouldn't it?

Anyway, I wanted to introduce you to a concept that I, myself was just made aware of, it's called "Chase 'N Chop". Chase 'N Chop happens as a result of your (Chinese) wife finding out that you've been cheatin' on her ass.

When my mom heard the Tiger Woods story, on a Chinese radio station, she screamed, "Ha ha, CHASE 'N CHOP, CHASE 'N CHOP!"

Even though Chase 'N Chop was invented by my people, it's good to know that the concept has become international! So men, married or otherwise, please take note: We don't play, we chop.

P.S. Elin, don't wait too long for your Kobe special. Cut your losses, take your kid$, and say goodbye. Oh and get yee to an STD clinic, STAT! Get him where it really counts...in the wallet!


posted by Stephania at 1:14 pm
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