Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Monday, August 24, 2009

Miss Universe 2009

My inner-gay was utterly disappointed when I found out that I had missed the airing of Miss Universe 2009. Luckily, it was on some time-shifting channel, so I'm currently recording the event blessed by God's hand.

The best part is the opening where each contestant comes out, parading in their country's ethnic garb. I particularly enjoy seeing what kinda wardrobe they come up with for Canada...as we have no distinguishing cultural identity! "TOSSED SALAD"!

(For as long as I can remember, I've always watched televised pageants, especially with my sisters and we'd just spend the evening cutting up the contestants.)

I must admit that in the recent years, my interest has waned quite a bit. Why? 'Cause all these bitches look THE FUCKIN' SAME. It's as though they were all squeezed outta the same Play Doh mold.

I used to pay more attention to the Asian contestants, to see if there was an example of beauty that I could look up to, but sadly, the Asians are looking more and more like their Caucasian counterparts. It's sorta freaky how they're supposed to be from all over the world, yet their appearance isn't very varied.

And if that isn't enough, who doesn't tune in for the performances? I mean David Guetta & Kelly Rowland, Flo Rida,...Heidi Montag?? It's almost as good as the line-up for V-Fest Toronto. *coughs*

P.S. If I was slightly more stretched and a decade younger, I'd get implants/rhinoplasty just to qualify for an event such as the Miss Universe Pageant. Can you even imagine the material I'd have to blog about??

P.P.S. Heidi Montag had a face/body that was created for plastic surgery. However, it's sorta sad that although it has made a vast improvement, she still doesn't look good per se. And btw, I'm not sure how long her performance was - I didn't time it - but it was still long enough to be uncomfortable to fake through!

P.P.P.S. The dancer on the right has got it right: This is bullshit.


posted by Stephania at 12:43 am
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