Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Haley's Hints...On Giving Your Guests Food Poisoning

If you expect me to spend hours on end in a bookstore, you might as well put me in jail! Sames goes for a library. Books + me = oil + water, we just don't mix! It's been that way since I can remember.

When I was in grade school, my mom came home from a parent-teacher interview, telling me that my teacher said that I was a "bad influence" because I told my peers that the "library is boring"! What am I supposed to do now, pretend to be a voracious reader?

So it's sorta ironic since one of my goals is to write a book. I'm not quite sure what about, but I'm full of stories, advice, & words of wisdom.

N e wayz, when I do find myself in a bookstore, more than likely I'm in the trash mags, crap-you-don't-need section, or trying to memorise books such as Haley's Hints...just so I don't hafta buy it!

I picked up Haley's latest, Haley's Hints Green Edition just 'cause I spotted the marketing flash word, GREEN. The first chapter was about salvaging rotting/stale food in your kitchen/fridge. Sounds like something I can relate to...so I continued reading:

"Bread Snacks...When your bread has turned stale, take a cookie cutter and cut the bread into shapes. Place in a plastic bag and freeze. When company arrives, top them with cheese spread and pop them under the broiler. Instant snacks!" <-- YUM! No wonder White people always serve those mini Melba Toast thingies as hors d'oeuvres.

He further goes on about turning stale bread into croutons and grating dried out cheese, storing it for later use! Another brilliant idea, probably for salad when company comes over nevertheless.

Here's another stroke of genius...

"Milk That Has Taken A Turn...Don't pour out that sour milk--it can still go a long way. If it's just beginning to turn, a pinch of baking soda can restore freshness." <-- I'm surprised that he didn't suggest making my own cheese, yogurt, butter, etc. I'll try this for coffee the next time I have company!

Forget helpful hints, I think this guy should venture into cookbooks!!!

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posted by Stephania at 11:55 pm
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