Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Lessons in Online Dating #19: Unbored Yourself
"Use your time wisely" is a common saying that I've heard time and time again, but admittedly, I don't follow its advice.
And it's not because I don't understand its importance, but it's more a case of not knowing how to properly occupy my time.
For example, late one afternoon, J came over to hang out. I asked her, "So what did you do today?" And she said that she had spent some of her time reading.
After her response, this blinding lightbulb came on in my head, "Ah-ha, reading...perhaps that is something that I can do!" However, I know myself well enough to say that the next time I'm bored, reading wouldn't even cross my mind! And it's not as though I lack reading material either.
That being said, in relation to dating, it is a real turn-off when someone is constantly bored. 'Cause when someone's bored, they tend to be too available - yet another turn-off.
And through my experience, bored people tend to be what I call "Garbage Daters". Garbage Daters just date people out of boredom, not because they're necessarily attracted &/or feel that they have commonalities with them. It's just something to do.
If you make yourself the least bit available, the Garbage Dater will latch onto you and never let you go! This is mainly due to the fact that they're afraid that boredom will creep in as soon as you do manage to escape their presence.
(I also strongly believe that some couples stay together out of sheer boredom, i.e. that they're soo bored with their life together, used to routine, but can't get it together enough to admit that they need a change. AND they may be afraid that no one else will accept their complacency, so they just stay blobbed together...eventually getting married.)
So if you're like me and tend to struggle with boredom, at least FAKE yourself busy. Pick up a pretend hobby like blogging or something!
posted by Stephania at 4:46 pm
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