Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I beat the buffet!!!

After years of practice, I'm proud to say that I've mastered the buffet. You heard me: I BEAT THE BUFFET!

And by 'beat', I mean that I didn't puke in the fine establishment's restroom, no one had to roll me outta there, & I didn't feel like puking/like a fat cow afterwards.

In order to help you win the war against gluttony, here are some tips:
1. Contrary to popular belief DON'T STARVE YOURSELF prior to the buffet. Fasting beforehand only makes you stuff your face, get fuller, faster, & you end up feeling sick/like a fat cow.

Plus, you just don't get your money's worth using this method!

2. Don't indulge in the breads, rice, potatoes, or items with heavy breading, eg. Chicken Balls. (I can't believe I typed that out...c-h-i-c-k-e-n-b-a-l-l-s.) Such carbs will just expand in your stomach = fuller, faster, etc.

3. Eat slowly. The slower you eat, the slower you'll get full.

4. Don't let your eyes get bigger than your stomach. Instead of piling food on top of a large dinner plate, pick up the smaller dish. Just make more trips.

Okay, I think that's enough for me. I left this one out under the heat lamps for too long...

Onto other posts!


posted by Stephania at 9:08 pm
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