Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Car Buying = A Game of Chess

Dear Car Salesman,

Thank you for coming in on your day-off to show me the car. However, I realise you only did so 'cause you thought it was gonna be an easy sale.

You heard my voice and assumed that I, a female, was coming in by myself. HA! Does it look like I have the word "SUCKER" written on my forehead? Think again!

(Sorry women, but as much as I am for womyn power, it's an absolute MUST to show up with negotiating muscle, i.e. a man! Unless of course you enjoy being duped. In general, car salesmen hate dealing with women 'cause we ask soo many damn question and don't fall in love with all the bells 'n whistles and shiny things that go vroom-vroom.)

I realise that you "have to" charge an administration fee, but please don't tell me it's to etch all the windows in order to prevent theft...when all the windows are already etched. So you're basically trying to add another $300 for double-etching...and to file some paperwork?? Pass those papers over...

And nice try getting your other salesman buddy to ask you for the keys that I just test-drove. May I remind you that you're trying to act in front of someone who acts for a living? Besides, the car was parked in the exact same spot where I left it, so I know for a fact, there was no other interested party. A for effort though!

I'm not in a rush to buy. I don't like making rash decisions, especially when it comes to large wads of cash. I've learned not to fall in love with inanimate objects. Furthermore, I'm all for walking away from something if there's no deal to be had; after all, it is a buyer's market.

I also know that the car's been sittin' on the lot since November, but for some reason hasn't sold. Perhaps it's because the location of the dealership is outside the urban centre? SO the odds truly seem in my favour. ;)

I've given you the figure that I have in mind, so you can sit and stew. Would you rather make room for another car, increasing your potential sales, or would you rather let the car turn into a pile of unsellable rust? If you're a good salesman and relatively intelligent person, I predict the former, rather than latter.

There are two players at this game of hardball. And I'm not budging. You'll call me before week's end.

Thanks for playing,

P.S. Thanks R for being my buddy back-up!


posted by Stephania at 11:18 pm
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