Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Pretty...Pretty Boring

Dear Nicole,

I can't exactly pinpoint it, but I don't like you. I really hope that it isn't jealousy 'cause that's just plain ugly on my part.

I'm not sure why you're on X Factor 'cause there just isn't enough contrast between you & Paula. If I was Paula, I would suck Simon's Brit-dick so that he would kick your Kim K ass to da curb!

Furthermore, when you cry, it seems fake 'cause your face can't possibly emote with all the stuff that you got goin' on up there. I also see NO TEARS.

I certainly cannot deny that you have all the makings that Hollywood/America jerks off to: skinny, leggy, exotic looks, long hair, bountiful boobs, a juicy ass (thanks to this recent pic from Culo Mag), and a pleasant enough face. Albeit all a bit plastic. Good job on your careful selection of plastic surgeon!

HOWEVER, there is absolutely nothing of substance to back that ass up to. You're boring and suffering from a severe case of identity crisis: Are you a hood rat/from the South, tough/softie, bitch/sympathetic to the point where you lose it on every single episode?? Who exactly is Nicole Scherwhatever?

P.S. Please stop acting ghetto 'cause you ain't and you look like a fool!


posted by Stephania at 10:54 pm
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