Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Friday, January 09, 2009

Lessons in Online Dating #12: The "I need to get laid" Look *

So I was Facebook Snooping when I stumbled upon pics of an acquaintance.

My immediate thought was, "Geez...she has to get laid and SOON!"

Darling girl. Not particularly hideous by any means, but somehow her lack of sexuality has started to manifest itself in her physical appearance. Of course, this is merely my speculation.

Description of the "I need to get laid" look:
- slightly - very out-of-shape
- undone - unkempt hair. If girl has curly hair, it wouldn't be straightened
- au natural face, no make-up
- clothing consists of sweats &/or other baggy attire. Nothing colourful or exciting!
- because of free time, girl is usually a good cook, if not a good baker
- usually classified as a "good girl" who wouldn't make any waves
- either smiley OR snarly demeanor to mask the loneliness

Lack of sexuality doesn't really matter...once you've snagged yourself a mate. HOWEVER, if you're single, this letting go of oneself is extremely dangerous 'cause despite their cluelessness, men can pick this signal up a mile away.

The result? You, home on a Friday/Saturday night, in your sweats, watching reruns of "What Not To Wear" with a bag of chips in front of you.

Wait a minute. I know plenty o' attached women who have let themselves go. Eating crap, gaining weight, dressing in sweats 24/7, & preferring nights in.

Okay, nevermind. I don't know what I'm talkin' about.

* You do not realise how difficult it was to find a suitable photo for this post. I looked up "chubby girl", but after a while, I quit for obvious reasons.


posted by Stephania at 10:25 am
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